Grateful - Day 10

I know I know . . . I went MIA there for a while. These last few weeks have been atrocious in every sense of the word and I'm exhausted.

So today, I am certainly the most grateful for a BREAK.

I am thankful to be sitting here, on a Thursday, in my jammies. I so love jammmies.
I am thankful that I survived the last few weeks with my sanity.

I am thankful that it is a four-day weekend, though I'm trying not to think about the mounds of grading that is sitting in my car. (I refused to bring it in yesterday)

I am thankful to have the opportunity to see my family today - the family I was born into and the family that I married into.

I am thankful that we have survived two weeks of preschool without an accident, leaving the accidents for home. (Okay, I'm not grateful for the home accidents, but I'll take them for now.)

I'm grateful for my son, who is the sweetest kid.

Last night, around 2-ish, I heard him start crying, so I went in to see him. He quieted down immediately, looked up with those sleepy kid eyes, gives me a sweet smile and says:

"Oh, hi mommy. I'm so glad to see you."

And you know, at 2 in the morning, after a crummy couple weeks, I was really glad to see him to.

I kissed him, he happily rolled over and went back to sleep.

So, I'm grateful that Luke is a stellar sleeper.

My class is frantically trying to get their winter program together (lines, staging, choreography, etc) but the one time I'm relaxed during rehearsals is during the song "Counting Your Blessings." Its a short song, but so beautiful and I always relax and enjoy my kids little voices belting it out. I'll be thinking about it today:

When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep
Counting my blessings.

-White Christmas

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

(last year's turkey centerpiece - I didn't even get to make on this year - bummer!)

Grateful - Day 9

Today I am grateful for being a teacher.

I took a long way around becoming a teacher (still working on it . . . ugh) but I know that I've found the job I am supposed to have.

There are some really unfortunate downsides to being a teacher:

• excessive work load
• having summers off, but not being able to take them because I don't make enough money during the year
• having to keep everyone happy: administration, parents, kids . . . it is exhausting
• knowing that I'll never make the money I'd like to make doing the job that I love
• I hate grading. I really really hate grading.

But the positives far outweigh the negatives:

• Kids who love coming to school every day because they love to learn and are excited to hear what I'll bring to them today
• Hugs daily, sweet, endearing notes - I keep them all, I have them in a book and refer to them when I'm feeling crummy
• Learning patience. It has made me a much better mommy. Having patience for one or two kids is tough enough. Imagine having to have a classroom of patience. Yikes!
• Getting winter break and spring break. It's not a summer break, but it will do.
• Dressing up for Halloween. I am expected to dress up and I get to be the "cool" teacher if I come up with something clever. Last year, I was Amelia Earhart and was deemed cool. This year I was Medusa, the year prior, Harry Potter. But I was the super-coolest when I was Princess Leia. That costume might make another round next year.
• I get to start over fresh, every year. I like having a definite beginning and a definite end. And those kids that push my buttons, in June, I'm done with them. Done done done.
• Kids really do say the funniest things. I get to laugh every day and get my kids to laugh. I get to act like a fool and sing and dance and they appreciate my efforts.
• I have learned what kind of kid I want to have - I have learned through observation what good parents do and what not-so-good parents do.
• I love my kids, as much as they frustrate me, I really really love them. We're a family for nine months and I get to know and understand them like they were my own kids.
• I love giving them tidbits of knowledge that they really don't need to know, but will make them feel smart and cool. You know, cocktail party conversation starters. They eat it up.
• Nothing makes a person feel more amazing than watching a kid "get it." Their eyes light up and you have been put on a pedestal for a moment in time.
• Having parents tell you that you've had not only an impact on their child, but on them as well. Parents that have begun to love history and reading because their child has learned to love them because you have loved them.
• I love making art projects - and I have to make an example. No really, I really should.
• Days go by quickly - there's no time to be bored, or tired. The kids want your best and there's no other option.

Viking Shield with a runic sentence. Cool, huh?



I get to make an impact . . . on kids and on parents. And they make an impact with me. I am blessed to have the opportunity to be creative, every day.

Grateful - Day 8

Yikes! Change!?!?

I've been working on being grateful for this . . . its always a challenge.

So today, I will be grateful for changes.

Being grateful for change has a lot to do with faith and trust. (And maybe a little pixiedust?)

Change can be so frightening, but it's always there for a reason. Life is going to change whether you want it to or not, whether you embrace it or not. I'm working on embracing life's changes and taking the time to understand the why's of them all.

I began my college years in Los Angeles, focused on becoming an animator and getting a job in the "industry." I suffered from an extensive lack of confidence and chickened out of staying down in LA, so I came back north to go to grad school for history. I was so full of regret for not staying, for not really giving myself the opportunity for failure or success. But that change, picking myself up and coming home led to so many other wonderful opportunities, including meeting Todd at San Jose State Univ. in our history class, finding my way to teaching and so on. So I can't regret these choices towards change - there were other paths for me to follow.

This is my character design from my senior thesis, "Rapunzel." Don't let Disney fool you - I did it first. If there is a pizza delivery guy named "Simon," in the upcoming "Tangled," I'm suing.

Because I'm such an animation nut (as is Todd - one more reason I love that guy), I love Pixar and I love their shorts before their films. One that I have grown to appreciate over the years, especially as I reflect on change and having a positive attitude, is "Boundin." The basic storyline being a cute lil' ol' sheep who is embarrassed after being shaved clean. A jack-a-lope sings some advice that I've taken to heart:

Now sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down,
When you find that you’re down well just look around:
You still got a body, good legs and fine feet,
Get your head in the right place and hey, you’re complete!

So having a positive attitude towards change has really made me change.

I was nervous about Luke starting school . . . we're still totally not potty trained (shhhh!) but he has a bladder of steel (new superpower?) and can hold it for hours. He needed more structure, he needed a challenge, he needed kids his own age. I love our daycare (more than I can ever begin to say) but now Luke has become one of the oldest, and has few kids his own age. He just needed more.

But I wasn't ready for the change. I wasn't ready for him to grow up and go to school. Its part of my process of realizing that Luke isn't a baby anymore - he's a big kid capable of a lot. I had to suck it up and send him along. So on Tuesday, he was off to an afternoon session of preschool. I will say, it's nice to have him (literally) right next door. The classroom right. next. door.

So he went to school. I said goodbye, Luke said, "Have a good day at school, Mommy!" I, of course, replied, "You too, Luke." And he was over it. He did awesome in Spanish, counting along and singing (Thanks, Dora!) and sitting and participating. I was such a proud mommy. All the teachers attempted (in vain) to get him to potty, but he would have none of that. And he didn't have an accident, he held it for a few more hours until later at home.

The preschool principal at my campus is so awesome - she was so impressed with Luke and how he just fit right in that she took a couple of pics on her phone and sent them to me. He's already made a few buddies and is happy as can be.

So, change can be good, depending on how you look at it. His behavior issues (screaming, jumping, running) at daycare seem to have subsided, we're getting great reports all week. He needed that new challenge, as much as I felt emotionally resistant to it.

When I picked him up from daycare of Wednesday (a non-school day) he immediately said, "Going to school, Mommy!?!?" I was so pleased that he was so excited and happy about going to school.

The effects of a non-nap Tuesday/Thursday, combined with a busy afternoon at school:
Please note: I cannot remember the last time Luke slept in the car during a non-road trip drive. He was totally out on a 15 minute drive home.

Grateful - Day 7

Today, I am grateful for perseverance.

Some days are certainly better than others and potty training has been a trying time for my willingness to persevere.

What I continually remind myself is that there will eventually be an end and I can do it, but giving up is not an option. How will I teach Luke to be tenacious, if I cannot do it myself?

And Luke pooped in the potty. Hooray!

One day potty training will not be such a driving force in my world and I will look back on my perseverence and be thankful I could get through it. It won't be today, but it will be someday. And I will show Luke these pictures and laugh.

Grateful - Day 6

I am so thankful for reading - being able to read and finding books that make me happy, that I enjoy reading. Todd is a reader too, which I am also incredibly grateful for. Sharing books with him has been such a huge part of my life. When we combined our book collections, we noticed a great number of books we both had, as well as books that complimented our respective collections.

We already had a set of hard back Harry Potters (through Book 4), and we continued buying 2 of each, as we couldn't read together and neither was patient enough to wait for the other to finish first. We tried reading together - I am a speed reader who misses major plot points and has to flip back to fill in the missing gaps, while Todd reads carefully and methodically. Not a match!


Baby/Toddler books next to Calvin and Hobbes:

World War II, The Civil War and Ancient Greece. Between the two of us, our history classes were pretty diverse.
Byzantine Empire with Educational (Credential) books:

We have quite a random collection, but we love them all. I love that reading can so quickly and easily take me to anywhere my imagination will go. I hope that my love of reading - whether historical fiction or young adult books or comics or anything - will be passed onto Luke. He has memorized many of his books already and loves to "read" to us.

Reading is the key to so much in life . . .

I'm grateful to be a bibliophile!

Grateful - Day 5

Sally.

You knew I wouldn't forget her, right?

Sally is really a Sleep Sheep and became Luke's love pretty early on. Our pediatrician had warned us that once Luke found a lovely, we had better buy a lot of them and rotate regularly. We bought two big ones (car and home) and 1 travel size (daycare). Once they started getting super icky, and even a ride through the washing machine no longer affected her, we attempted to introduce new Sallys, ones that had "taken a bath." But it was not to be. Luke knew they were wrong, "No Mama. Not the same."

Poor kid. At a year, he couldn't get to Sally but was too stubborn to ask for help. Resourceful, isn't he?

All he needs is her ear and his thumb.

Grateful - Day 4

Delicious delicious sushi.

You know where they sell delicious delicious sushi on the cheap? My Safeway. No, not yours or your friend's Safeway, but mine. It is most tasty, even after being tossed in a bag and rushed back to my classroom.

You know what makes my sushi so full of awesomeness? The sushi makers. They are the nicest, most dear people. They know all about my life (I talk a lot) and I find out about what's going on in their lives. And they always know what I like on my sushi. They are quick with extra sauce and extra sesame seeds. They are so thoughtful and offer to make my sushi fresh. And, the secret ingredient is love.

They were the first people I told I was pregnant. I was so freakin' excited but it was too early to really tell anyone - so I told them. Now they keep up with Luke and I bring in his picture to share.

I do not suggest jumping in feet first with just any grocery store sushi. I have experienced other Safeway sushi and have had some disappointment. Now I've learned that it can only be my sushi at my Safeway.

(note: I am still trying to finish correcting the history tests that you can see in the picture. I'll get around to it soon enough.)

Grateful - Day 3

My Todd.

Yup, he's mine. I claimed him long ago - 8 years-ish, and now he's totally locked in.

And I was right - all along. He would prove to be a man would was a supportive, thoughtful, funny and loving husband as well as an inspirational dad. No one makes me laugh till I snort like Todd.

Christmas 2009 - Year of the Snuggie

He turned my world upside down from the very beginning - I had never, nor will I ever, meet someone so like me and so different from me all rolled into one.

• Thank you for giving me a nudge out the door so I don't become a permanent homebody.
• Thank you for supporting me in all of my endeavors. And crafts.
• Thank you for being honest with me, always. Even if its not what I want to hear. "Sooo . . . you're going to wear that skirt with that top? Interesting."
• Thank you for knowing when I just need a hug, not a discussion.
• Thank you for making me laugh the hardest when I just want to be in a funk and you won't let me.
• Thank you for being a 50/50 parent. Its hard enough to have one teacher in a family. Having 2 is not for the faint of heart.
• Thank you for always being on my team. There are days when life just seems heavy and you always know when to step in, whether I want the help or not.

I love you, Big Deet. The most.

Veterans Day

My parents were fortunate enough to get many of my grandmother's personal photographs recently and I was crafty enough to "borrow" a few to scan before they disappeared into the boxes of photos shoved in their back closet.

I've always loved this photo of my dad - he looks so official and responsible, especially at what he was asked to do at such a young age. My father served in Vietnam after marrying my mother. My parents were only 20 when they married and my father was shipped out. I can hardly imagine spending my first year of marriage with my husband stationed so far away in such terrifying, awful conditions.

On Veterans Day, I think of all of those who have had to sacrifice so much in their lives to serve their country. And while it's not much on my little blog - I thank those who have served and who are currently serving.

Grateful - Day 2

Moms.

Moms are so wonderful. I am so blessed to have the mother that I have. I am so blessed to have the mother-in-law that I have. And I am truly blessed to be a mother to my wonderful son. I can't imagine how I could even attempt to be a mom without the role models of my past and of the present.

My mother's mother was Audrey, who was the epitome of grace, strength, humor and love. I wish I had gotten to know her more as an adult - but I am blessed to have a family full of stories to describe who she was.

Audrey's mother was my namesake . . . almost. I was to be Naomi Grace after her, but was switched to Noella Grace. She was a tough woman, who had the strength of mountains - or so I'm told. I love to know that I have their spirit with me, and their strength in me . . . somewhere. It helps to remind me that when things get tough, you have to get tougher.

And then there's my own amazing mother. She is so kind, generous and giving but determined and strong. She's my "mean ol' mom" as we used to call her. She wouldn't let us go as we wanted and where we pleased. She set up boundaries and followed through, no matter how "mean" it was. But she wasn't rigid or unrelenting - she had expectations and made sure they were met, all out of love. But man, can she be silly. I love to be silly with her - we get to laughing and laughing about nothing, which are always the best stories to remember.

Aren't we cute together?

I like to think that I look like her . . .


I want to be a mother like her. Or a mother like my grandmother or great-grandmother. They are all amazing women, each in their own right.



Yet, with all those impressive role models to look to, you might wonder, could it get any better? I didn't think so . . . until I met my mother-in-law. Woe to the women who do not get along with their mother-n-law - I completely hit the jackpot. Linda is made of the same tough stuff the women in my family are made of and has the best laugh. I dare anyone not to feel happy when she laughs. She is the consummate social butterfly - you cannot be around her and not have a good time. Who is with me on freezing cold Black Friday mornings, game plan in hand? You betcha: Linda. We decided right off that bat that if Todd and I didn't work out, he'd have to leave, not me.



Here's to moms, everywhere!

Grateful - Day 1

I'm starting a little late, but I'll join!

So many bloggers out in Blogsville, USA have been working this month on writing a daily "grateful" blog a day. I knew I had no chance of going the WHOLE month of November, so I thought I'd pick it up now, when my buddy Procrastination keeps reminding me I've got plenty of time for grading. Later.

I used to be very very good about writing in a daily "Grateful" journal, and I'm sure I'll refer back to that during the rest of the month.

You know what I'm grateful for?

Gold stars.

I'm a teacher through and through and I've always been a sucker for gold stars. There is something magic about the gold star that will really make you get things done. There is a sense of gratification and acknowledgment in such a small thing.

One of the teachers on my team and I are always after that "elusive gold star" - that feeling of knowing that you put in a lot of work and are appreciated for it. So this has been the year of really giving the parents so ridiculously adorable clip art. They can't get cranky if a low spelling test score has a cute lil' picture of a bear holding a heart, right?

As she says: "I could get kids to wash my windows for a sticker."

There is truly something magical about getting that gold star.

Every so often, I will just start giving out gold stars to other grown ups. At work, if someone goes out of their way to do something nice, I'll put a gold star on them. And you should see the way their face will light up. It's amazing - gold stars are not just for kids.

I am grateful for small, simple ways to feel acknowledged and let others know what they do is recognizable. What have you done today that should get a gold star?

Krista's Shower

The Saturday before Halloween, my lovely sister-in-law Ellen and I were able to attend our friend Krista's baby shower. I was fortunate enough to meet Krista through Ellen, as we were both in Ellen and Dan's wedding (9 years ago?). She is so much fun - always laughing and in good spirits. So over the years, we been to each others bridal showers and now baby showers.

And, in all honesty, I love taking pictures with pregnant women simply because I look skinny in comparison. Score.

*And she wore fabulous boots to her shower. By this point in my pregnancy, I was wearing slippers because none of my shoes fit. Go, Krista!!

Trick or Treat!

Halloween turned out to be much more frightening than had been previously anticipated.

SALLY WAS LOST.

Let me start from the beginning.


Knowing that Luke's costume looked like an out of place Linus from the Peanuts, I decided to have Luke bring along Sally to justify/explain his costume. Not that it mattered. No one cared anyways. He was way cute and polite.

We had gone to a few houses when I realized that *gasp* . . . SALLY WAS GONE. I think my heart actually stopped for a few seconds.

Uncle Dan (the only one with a flashlight) was kind enough to backtrack and hunt for Sally. It was a long, uncomfortable time until Uncle Dan was able to track her down. But track her down he did! And I held her. Tightly. For the rest of the night.

Luke loved trick-or-treating. It took him a few houses, but he figured it out and loved shouting "Happy Halloween!" and "Trick-or-Treat!" and "THANK YOU!" There were a few problems we discovered along the way though.

1) I forgot to empty the pumpkin bucket after trunk or treating. Poor Luke's bucket was so friggin heavy, he could barely carry it. The handle kept popping out and the candy would spill everywhere. Yikes. And Luke is so stubborn, he didn't want any help.

2) Luke wanted to have a conversation at every house we stopped at. He wanted to talk about his candy and how trick-or-treating worked. Due to the conversational limitations, he mostly repeated the same things over and over, but in a different order every time.

3) Luke just has smaller legs than his big cousins. "Wait up Superman!" was a common exclamation. They were so patient and would wait for him at every house, but it was still tough. A heavy candy bucket was really inconvenient for this as well.

Luke had a great time checking his "loot" after every house, thanks to Uncle Dan's enthusiasm. Luke doesn't know one type of candy from another, but Uncle Dan was so excited about a different type every time that Luke was walking on air.


I snapped this pic and it was so bright that Luke completely bailed. Scraped up his knee (shocking, I know) but hopped back up, shouting "I'm okay! I'm okay!"

Luke was such a cutie and had so much fun - I know he'll be ready for next year.

Fall Festival

Halloween Festivities: Part Uno

One of my co-workers was gracious enough to host an all-out way crazy Fall Festival at her home, open to anyone who wanted to come. Seriously. No RSVPs or anything - it was insane. Anyways, we decided to follow Jake and his family there and let Luke go crazy before trick-or-treating that night.

We began in . . . the bounce house. But please note, this was not just any bounce house - this thing had a full slide inside as well as a cool stair/ladder thing to climb up. Oh - and a basketball hoop, but Luke wasn't too into that. I was impressed at how much Luke's balance has improved since the last bounce house. The ratio of bounce to falling was now in favor of bouncing. Well done! Most photos came out way too blurry - they had a fabulous time.



He found the playsets in back, one even had a kitchen at the top. Luke was a nice reflection of how we cook in our home. Yup, he mostly played with the microwave. Dang.



Luke slid down with Sally . . . mostly. Okay, he really just launched her down the slide then flew down after her. That was one fast slide - he got the wind knocked out of him a little bit.



Their house (farm?) had animals for Luke to look at: rabbits, guinea pigs, chickens and pigs. Luke was freaked out by the chickens - when he went over to the coop to look at them, one chicken walked right up to him, a little too quickly. He was stoked on the rabbits and kept calling the guinea pigs "bunnies." He didn't know what to make of the pigs, except to oink at them.


After the animals, we went "trunk or treating" in their front driveway . . . I guess one would call it a driveway. There were around 15 cars parked, with their trucks decorated. Luke loved it - he was very polite saying thanks to everyone for the candy. He truly couldn't believe his luck - FREE candy!


Luke got to make a foam crown - he is all about his crown!



Checking out his loot. He wouldn't stick his face through the hole, so I stuck my camera through.

Luke was certainly bummed to leave, but there were no tears (Hallelujah!) and many promises of visiting and trick-or-treating with his cousins.

Epic.

Todd and I have clearly never been into "traditional" costumes so this year, we continued the tradition. And I have to be completely honest: this year, it was all Todd. Todd was the idea man, I just did the assembly.

So as I have posted ad naseum, Luke is all about his Sally. We laugh about how he talks to her all the time, plays with her, high-fives her, has her do puzzles while he cheers her on, etc. So they are truly the best of friends, and Luke believes she is just as real as the rest of us . . . just like . . . Calvin and Hobbes.

Todd and I grew up loving Calvin and Hobbes, and discovering that we each had our own individual C/H book collections when we combine our "libraries." So Luke and Sally just had to be Calvin and Hobbes.

Luke's costume was easy (a little too reminiscent of Linus, but what can you do?) but I was able to fudge my way through a little tiger hoodie for Sally. Together they are pretty cute. He totally didn't get his costume (way focused on the candy aspect of Halloween) and most people didn't get it, but we got it. And that's what's most important, anyways.

Seriously. I love you the MOST.

Fall festival and trick-or-treating pics soon . . .

200!

Wow - this is my 200th post and I'm here to celebrate! (I'm through one glass of wine, but I'll wait . . . you can catch up.)

I began this blog primarily so that my fabulous mother-in-law could keep up with all the comings and goings of Luke as she was/is in San Diego and not able to see him as much as we would all like her to.

Over the last few years, it has really developed into so so much more - mostly it has become an online journal allowing me to revisit and reflect on what our family has experienced, especially since I've never had a spectacular memory. And certainly have little to no memories of Luke's early months.

So, in honor of my 200th post, I'm re-posting the first picture of the blog - Luke in his cocoon.


And as it was never really discussed in that first post - this was our lifesaver. Luke would not sleep ever anywhere for any reason, which really was awful (as any parent of a collic-y kid could tell you) and when we discovered this type of swing and how Luke was totally into it, we had to have it. I found a used swing on Craigslist from a woman who lived a few blocks down from me, scraped all the cash I could find (totally stole from Luke's piggy bank) and hustled on over.

He slept in this for a good solid few months. Heaven.

Also at this time, he discovered his thumb. (Do you hear the angels singing? I do.)

Finally the swing really (ahem) didn't swing anymore because he was way too big for it and we had to move on. By that time, the colic had pretty much passed and Luke was sleeping through the night. But this swing was our sanity and therefore, very important to be part of the first post of the blog.



And, in time for the season, Luke's first fall and pics on our front lawn. I love this pic - he really wanted to watch all the cars driving by, but I continued to distract him from the camera. Luke was totally balding at this point and had a rash on his chin due to excessive drool, but I love it just the same.

Happy 200th post Bickel Family Blog!

Now, back to your regularly scheduled blogging . . .

Pirate Luke?

I have no idea how, why or where it began, but Luke began calling himself "Pirate Luke" and saying "arrgghhhhh" a lot. Huh?

He found a wine vacuum sealer and it became a telescope (didn't know he knew that word, or how it worked or that it was associated with pirates) and put it up to his eye like a telescope. Strange.


Argh?


So I found a cheap-o foam pirate hat and hook at Joanns and he knew right what to do with the hat and the hook. I tried to take a picture of him saying "argh!" but he kept laughing. Daddy posed for the picture to "inspire" Luke, but alas, he kept giggling. And I got a pretty funny pic of Todd. (Don't tell him its on here!)