So it is my first day back at work.  Man, is it ever rough.  I mean, seriously seriously tough.  I know that Miss Lily is fine, but I just really miss her.  I'm so glad she is such a good baby.  I'm not going to go much further with this or I might will start crying.

 

Nana took a few pictures and sent them to me.  I needed them.  She is such a happy baby.  Or maybe she just seems that much more happy because Luke was so unhappy. Poor Mr. Colicky Baby. Oh well. So I love her and her sweet, cheery face.  She sure makes me smile!

 

 

 

And I finally checked my work email after being gone for 12 weeks.  Hooray! I was emailed the picture of Lily and me on Halloween when I came to campus for a visit.  She looks serious.  I think the whole thing was pretty overwhelming.  I like that I don't look enormous.  Thanks nursing poncho! (and the downward angle of the photo - love me some tall photographers!)

 

 

I'm so happy there are only three days this school week, or else I would just have a fit. 

Updates

I’m going to discuss what’s been happening with my surgery/health but I will be putting in Lily’s two month pictures to a)lighten the mood and b) give something for people to look at if they’re not interested in my kidney stone drama.

What a crazy couple of days . . .

So I went in for my surgery, which I completely underestimated. For whatever reason, I totally thought it was going to be a simple little procedure, not a big deal at all.

Wow. Way to do your research, Noella.

To start with, the original 12 mm estimate of my stone was small – it turned out to be 13.1 mm. *sigh* Which meant that they had no choice but to insert a stent.  It’s going to be there for a minimum of 2 weeks.  Because of the size of the original stone, the broken pieces might still be big and painful to pass. Sheesh. Because of the stent and the crazy pain, I’m on antibiotics and heavy duty pain meds for quite some time.  I don’t know exactly when I’m going to be able to nurse Lily again.  I’m still pumping and dumping though. 

Once the surgeon told me about the stent and explained the meds, he left and I immediately started crying.  The poor anesthesiologist . . . he came into a crying girl.  I explained to him and my nurse who made sure to ask the doctor about the meds.  I didn’t change anything, but they were so sweet and thoughtful.

I totally did not realize that I would be put completely under. Yikes.  I was told that during the procedure they give me pain meds, but they don’t really know if it was the right amount as they can’t wake me up to ask.  Well, apparently because I was so upset about breastfeeding, they decided to give me less in hopes that I could return to nursing more quickly. 

So I woke up crying and crying, it was so painful.  Yeah, that was fun.  Anytime I get into that much pain, doctors and nurses have an extremely hard time breaking through the pain – it has happened with every ER visit for kidney stones.  They keep giving me more and more meds, higher and higher doses and stronger types.  They are always shocked at how what should work  . . . doesn’t.

I made it through, I’m anxious to be done with all of this.  I didn’t want to finish maternity leave this way, but it was certainly out of my hands.

I’m very blessed though – the hospital staff was amazing.  I had the sweetest, most kind nurses and efficient, thoughtful doctors.  I cannot thank my family enough.  I feel that I ask so much of them with all this ridiculous medical issues I’ve been going through.  My parents are always there for me whenever I need them.  I couldn’t be more grateful.  And of course, Todd has been so caring and considerate – letting me sleep when I need to, fixing all my meals and taking care of the kids.  Luke is very concerned about my health, but thinks it’s pretty cool that I have a rock inside me.  And sweet Miss Lily, she has adjusted to having to drink formula.  There was no way to make all those ounces stretch.  I’m trying not to get depressed or negative about it.  I have about 15 ounces left of the original 140 that I began with.  But she’s a trooper. 

Lily is such a pretty little girl.  She seems to get overly aware of the camera whenever I try to take her picture, which has made capturing her smiles ridiculously difficult. I’ll get them one of these days!

Oh, and Lily has an eye infection, so she’s got antibiotics, too. Mother/daughter bonding? Already?

Happy Halloween!

 

Last year, Luke dressed up as Spiderman for Halloween.  He loves loves loves Spiderman and was really jealous of the kids who were dress d as “black Spiderman” (aka Venom).  So last year, he decided he wanted to be black Spiderman.  I couldn’t believe he remembered after a year.  Can’t get anything past that kid.

Well, this year there were plenty of red Spidermans, but no black Spidermans.  Apparently, the other parents in his class were confused, as they are clearly not comic book readers.  Their children all came home telling them that Luke was going to be “black Spiderman” and they thought their kids were making it up. :)

So here is Luke as “black Spiderman:”

And just because it is a good story, a while ago Luke mentioned that Spiderman was “pissing.” Todd and I were horrified at his word choice and couldn’t figure out where he had learned it from.  We asked him to repeat it, thinking maybe we had misheard him.  But no, he kept repeating that Spiderman was “pissing.” So we asked him what he meant and he said “You know, piss piss! Spiderman is piss! piss!” and showing how he shot webs out of his wrists. Ahhhh . . . the sound the webs make.  Todd and I laughed a good long time about that.  It still makes me laugh!

All Luke’s best Spidey moves!

Halloween Parade

“Um . . . where is Sister?”

“Oh! There she is! Hi Sister!”

Luke’s PK class  . . . play “Count the Spidermans!”

Yup, he got the ice cream past me . . . “This is okay, right Mom?”

I dressed Lily up in her sunflower costume (I was a gardener) and traveled around visiting everyone.  I headed to my old campus and introduced Lily to all my old students.  Boy did they love her! Boy, so I miss them.  I really, really miss my students.  It was great to see them and see how old they are, and how successful they are.  I was even able to see a few of my class parents as well, they were thrilled to meet Lily.

I headed to my new campus and was able to visit the front office staff and had such a great time with my principal.  Conveniently, she was dressed as a farmer. Seriously.  They looked so adorable together!! After that, it was over to Luke’s campus for his party and parade.

Lily loves her brother so so very much.  He just adores her.

My sweet little sunflower – she has brightened our lives!

“I want to sit next to her and kiss her!”

“Blech! She licked me!” (ha ha) Luke still refuses to believe that she was just trying to kiss him back.

We went trick or treating in Almaden and had a wonderful time!  Luke got lots of candy (to which is isn’t that interested in) and mostly just loved running from house to house and shouting trick or treat.

Things overheard to be said by Luke:

1) *knock knock* TRICK OR TREAT! What’s taking them so long?”

2) (to the candy bowl) “There wasn’t a kid to say thanks to so I said thank you to the SIGN.”

3) “Mommy, the human scared me!” At a haunted house, Todd tried to tell him the scary zombie (?) was just a human being.  Methinks he doesn’t know the term “human.”

Sorry, no pictures.  Unfortunately, my camera battery died just as I turned it on the take the first picture. Whoops.

Happy Halloween!!

Tough Times

You may remember last July when I passed a big ol’ kidney stone when I was 32 weeks pregnant.  One of the least fun things I have ever done.

Well, guess what?? A new kidney stone! And boy is it ever a doozy. 12 mm x 9 mm.  Let’s put it this way: at my last kidney stone xray (August 2011) I had a 6 mm stone that the doctor said would never pass.  So . . . this one is pretty much double the size. That being said, at that last xray, I had three stones to pass. This big ol Frankenstone is the last one. Woo hoo!

Long story short, I woke up in pain last night, spent all night up and was nauseated (that was new for this stone) and the meds I had really didn’t work. Yikes.  So I powered through and had a doctor appointment made for this morning.

The doctor gave me my pain meds as a shot in the butt (also new for this stone) and sent me to the ER.  So I spent my day in the ER as my mom stayed with Miss Lily (who was awesome – thank heavens!).  I had to be closely monitored as my heart rate consistently was dropping and they thought I might have an infection.  The CT scan showed that big ol stone and I was told I had to have it blasted.  I was told that when it was a 6 mm stone, but I became pregnant and obviously, that was out of the question.

The doctor told me that I couldn’t get the laser blasting surgery procedure until November 13th – 11 days away.  And then I cried. And cried and cried.  I couldn’t imagine dealing with this pain for 11 more days.  No way.  Poor guy.  Then they told me with the meds I couldn’t breastfeed Lily.  Anyone who has talked to me about feeding Lily has heard my lament about losing my supply with Luke and supplementing when he was two days old.  I was so SO determined to nurse for as long as I could with Lily and really establish my supply.  How determined? I have almost 150 oz. of frozen breastmilk, saved to supplement if I can’t pump enough at work.  At least, that was the plan.

Well, my stash is going to take a hit, since I can’t nurse Lily for almost a week.  I cried.  Poor doctor. I don’t think he was expecting the waterworks.  But it was so heartbreaking.  And that’s why I’m blogging all this . . . I’m still trying to sort out my feelings in all this.  I’m so glad that I have a stash to keep Lily fed until I can feed her again after all the meds are out of my system.  I’m glad that I cried enough for them to squeeze me into a surgery date of next Tuesday, November 6th. I am miserable about losing my time with her . . . I’m going to avoid feeding her a bottle for as long as possible to keep her associating me with bottles.  I am heartbroken that I won’t get that snuggle time that I love in the middle of the night. 

So now I’m determined to pump to keep my supply up.  Except that I have to dump it. I have to dump it all.  *sigh*  I pumped at the hospital.  I dumped 10 oz and cried.  The nursing staff didn’t know what to do with me either.  I did end up renting a hospital pump, which is higher quality and will hopefully keep my production up. 

But I do love that my boys are taking care of my sweet Miss Lily.

And to make me laugh (and maybe you, too) after that depressing post . . .

A Luke Photo-Bomb!