Thanksgiving

I'm so glad my mother in law is awesome and took pictures, because I took no pictures at Thanksgiving. That's right. My daughter's first Thanksgiving and nothing.  I was busy with other things. 

Lily dressed up in a special outfit from Great-Grandma and Great-Grandpa (which was beautiful) and then had a little photo shoot.  She is such a happy baby - lots of smiles and giggles now.  This is my favorite part of having an infant - they give smiles away like they are worth nothing, but to everyone else, they are worth everything!

The long and the short of it:

• Thanksgiving dinner was delicious and amazing.  
• Baby Lily was sweet and adorable. 
• Luke ran around like his pants were on fire (at least we were outside).  
• All the family stepped in to help Luke run out of energy (he went through at least 6 adults before he got remotely tired).
• Todd and I were given a break. Woo hoo!  Nana drove Luke home so that Todd and I would have some quiet, couple time.  I will call that 30 minute drive a date. Sweet!

And now Christmas is right around the corner.  Tomorrow is my last day before break and I couldn't be more excited to have two weeks at home with my family.  While my job certainly has challenges, I can't beat the two week break for the holidays. 

My Secret Santa GETS me.

Note: My Secret Santa knows me so well.

I came in this morning to find a bottle of homemade Cranberry-Lime Infused Vodka.

It is going to be helpful this Winter Break.

By the way, my Secret Santa is my desk-neighbor, Allison, who clearly listens when I talk about what I like!

Happy Friday, everyone!

So let's be totally honest.  Things have been tough lately.  More difficult than I ever EVER imagined that I would be faced with in my life.  I am sad, angry, frustrated, disheartened and often feel lost.  I am so grateful for my family during all of this.  I'm grateful for work, which has become a bit of an escape.  At some point, I'll go into it a little more (a cathartic experiment, I suppose) which is why the blog will soon be going private.  

Until then, I will be thankful for the little things.  Things like Secret Santa at work.  I'll be the first to admit that I didn't really want to be a part of the Secret Santa exchange - a gift for someone, everyday?!? The cost, the effort, the time?!?! But I wanted to be a "team player" and be a part of it.  Granted, I know the names of the teaching staff, but I haven't gotten to know everyone yet.  So I was hesitant and resistant. But I signed up anyways.

Who knew I would love it? I get something cute on my desk every morning.  It really makes me feel a little special and a little bit of joy every morning.  I don't know who my Secret Santa buddy is, but they know me so well! I love my little seasonal water cups and so today was a Christmas cup with a snowglobe inside. Seriously.  And the "alcoholic" Crystal Light packets -  I swear, the margarita Crystal Light got me through being pregnant during the summer.  I love the little decorations and the bow - it is adorable. 

So I had to share it, because some days, this is all I've got that doesn't include stress, worry and anxiety.

On a side note, if you are interested in receiving a Bickel Christmas card this year, click on the link to the right (Christmas card mailing list) and it will take you to a form to fill out with your info.  If you have moved in the last year or didn't get a Christmas card last year, please let me know your info!

 

So it is my first day back at work.  Man, is it ever rough.  I mean, seriously seriously tough.  I know that Miss Lily is fine, but I just really miss her.  I'm so glad she is such a good baby.  I'm not going to go much further with this or I might will start crying.

 

Nana took a few pictures and sent them to me.  I needed them.  She is such a happy baby.  Or maybe she just seems that much more happy because Luke was so unhappy. Poor Mr. Colicky Baby. Oh well. So I love her and her sweet, cheery face.  She sure makes me smile!

 

 

 

And I finally checked my work email after being gone for 12 weeks.  Hooray! I was emailed the picture of Lily and me on Halloween when I came to campus for a visit.  She looks serious.  I think the whole thing was pretty overwhelming.  I like that I don't look enormous.  Thanks nursing poncho! (and the downward angle of the photo - love me some tall photographers!)

 

 

I'm so happy there are only three days this school week, or else I would just have a fit. 

Updates

I’m going to discuss what’s been happening with my surgery/health but I will be putting in Lily’s two month pictures to a)lighten the mood and b) give something for people to look at if they’re not interested in my kidney stone drama.

What a crazy couple of days . . .

So I went in for my surgery, which I completely underestimated. For whatever reason, I totally thought it was going to be a simple little procedure, not a big deal at all.

Wow. Way to do your research, Noella.

To start with, the original 12 mm estimate of my stone was small – it turned out to be 13.1 mm. *sigh* Which meant that they had no choice but to insert a stent.  It’s going to be there for a minimum of 2 weeks.  Because of the size of the original stone, the broken pieces might still be big and painful to pass. Sheesh. Because of the stent and the crazy pain, I’m on antibiotics and heavy duty pain meds for quite some time.  I don’t know exactly when I’m going to be able to nurse Lily again.  I’m still pumping and dumping though. 

Once the surgeon told me about the stent and explained the meds, he left and I immediately started crying.  The poor anesthesiologist . . . he came into a crying girl.  I explained to him and my nurse who made sure to ask the doctor about the meds.  I didn’t change anything, but they were so sweet and thoughtful.

I totally did not realize that I would be put completely under. Yikes.  I was told that during the procedure they give me pain meds, but they don’t really know if it was the right amount as they can’t wake me up to ask.  Well, apparently because I was so upset about breastfeeding, they decided to give me less in hopes that I could return to nursing more quickly. 

So I woke up crying and crying, it was so painful.  Yeah, that was fun.  Anytime I get into that much pain, doctors and nurses have an extremely hard time breaking through the pain – it has happened with every ER visit for kidney stones.  They keep giving me more and more meds, higher and higher doses and stronger types.  They are always shocked at how what should work  . . . doesn’t.

I made it through, I’m anxious to be done with all of this.  I didn’t want to finish maternity leave this way, but it was certainly out of my hands.

I’m very blessed though – the hospital staff was amazing.  I had the sweetest, most kind nurses and efficient, thoughtful doctors.  I cannot thank my family enough.  I feel that I ask so much of them with all this ridiculous medical issues I’ve been going through.  My parents are always there for me whenever I need them.  I couldn’t be more grateful.  And of course, Todd has been so caring and considerate – letting me sleep when I need to, fixing all my meals and taking care of the kids.  Luke is very concerned about my health, but thinks it’s pretty cool that I have a rock inside me.  And sweet Miss Lily, she has adjusted to having to drink formula.  There was no way to make all those ounces stretch.  I’m trying not to get depressed or negative about it.  I have about 15 ounces left of the original 140 that I began with.  But she’s a trooper. 

Lily is such a pretty little girl.  She seems to get overly aware of the camera whenever I try to take her picture, which has made capturing her smiles ridiculously difficult. I’ll get them one of these days!

Oh, and Lily has an eye infection, so she’s got antibiotics, too. Mother/daughter bonding? Already?

Happy Halloween!

 

Last year, Luke dressed up as Spiderman for Halloween.  He loves loves loves Spiderman and was really jealous of the kids who were dress d as “black Spiderman” (aka Venom).  So last year, he decided he wanted to be black Spiderman.  I couldn’t believe he remembered after a year.  Can’t get anything past that kid.

Well, this year there were plenty of red Spidermans, but no black Spidermans.  Apparently, the other parents in his class were confused, as they are clearly not comic book readers.  Their children all came home telling them that Luke was going to be “black Spiderman” and they thought their kids were making it up. :)

So here is Luke as “black Spiderman:”

And just because it is a good story, a while ago Luke mentioned that Spiderman was “pissing.” Todd and I were horrified at his word choice and couldn’t figure out where he had learned it from.  We asked him to repeat it, thinking maybe we had misheard him.  But no, he kept repeating that Spiderman was “pissing.” So we asked him what he meant and he said “You know, piss piss! Spiderman is piss! piss!” and showing how he shot webs out of his wrists. Ahhhh . . . the sound the webs make.  Todd and I laughed a good long time about that.  It still makes me laugh!

All Luke’s best Spidey moves!

Halloween Parade

“Um . . . where is Sister?”

“Oh! There she is! Hi Sister!”

Luke’s PK class  . . . play “Count the Spidermans!”

Yup, he got the ice cream past me . . . “This is okay, right Mom?”

I dressed Lily up in her sunflower costume (I was a gardener) and traveled around visiting everyone.  I headed to my old campus and introduced Lily to all my old students.  Boy did they love her! Boy, so I miss them.  I really, really miss my students.  It was great to see them and see how old they are, and how successful they are.  I was even able to see a few of my class parents as well, they were thrilled to meet Lily.

I headed to my new campus and was able to visit the front office staff and had such a great time with my principal.  Conveniently, she was dressed as a farmer. Seriously.  They looked so adorable together!! After that, it was over to Luke’s campus for his party and parade.

Lily loves her brother so so very much.  He just adores her.

My sweet little sunflower – she has brightened our lives!

“I want to sit next to her and kiss her!”

“Blech! She licked me!” (ha ha) Luke still refuses to believe that she was just trying to kiss him back.

We went trick or treating in Almaden and had a wonderful time!  Luke got lots of candy (to which is isn’t that interested in) and mostly just loved running from house to house and shouting trick or treat.

Things overheard to be said by Luke:

1) *knock knock* TRICK OR TREAT! What’s taking them so long?”

2) (to the candy bowl) “There wasn’t a kid to say thanks to so I said thank you to the SIGN.”

3) “Mommy, the human scared me!” At a haunted house, Todd tried to tell him the scary zombie (?) was just a human being.  Methinks he doesn’t know the term “human.”

Sorry, no pictures.  Unfortunately, my camera battery died just as I turned it on the take the first picture. Whoops.

Happy Halloween!!

Tough Times

You may remember last July when I passed a big ol’ kidney stone when I was 32 weeks pregnant.  One of the least fun things I have ever done.

Well, guess what?? A new kidney stone! And boy is it ever a doozy. 12 mm x 9 mm.  Let’s put it this way: at my last kidney stone xray (August 2011) I had a 6 mm stone that the doctor said would never pass.  So . . . this one is pretty much double the size. That being said, at that last xray, I had three stones to pass. This big ol Frankenstone is the last one. Woo hoo!

Long story short, I woke up in pain last night, spent all night up and was nauseated (that was new for this stone) and the meds I had really didn’t work. Yikes.  So I powered through and had a doctor appointment made for this morning.

The doctor gave me my pain meds as a shot in the butt (also new for this stone) and sent me to the ER.  So I spent my day in the ER as my mom stayed with Miss Lily (who was awesome – thank heavens!).  I had to be closely monitored as my heart rate consistently was dropping and they thought I might have an infection.  The CT scan showed that big ol stone and I was told I had to have it blasted.  I was told that when it was a 6 mm stone, but I became pregnant and obviously, that was out of the question.

The doctor told me that I couldn’t get the laser blasting surgery procedure until November 13th – 11 days away.  And then I cried. And cried and cried.  I couldn’t imagine dealing with this pain for 11 more days.  No way.  Poor guy.  Then they told me with the meds I couldn’t breastfeed Lily.  Anyone who has talked to me about feeding Lily has heard my lament about losing my supply with Luke and supplementing when he was two days old.  I was so SO determined to nurse for as long as I could with Lily and really establish my supply.  How determined? I have almost 150 oz. of frozen breastmilk, saved to supplement if I can’t pump enough at work.  At least, that was the plan.

Well, my stash is going to take a hit, since I can’t nurse Lily for almost a week.  I cried.  Poor doctor. I don’t think he was expecting the waterworks.  But it was so heartbreaking.  And that’s why I’m blogging all this . . . I’m still trying to sort out my feelings in all this.  I’m so glad that I have a stash to keep Lily fed until I can feed her again after all the meds are out of my system.  I’m glad that I cried enough for them to squeeze me into a surgery date of next Tuesday, November 6th. I am miserable about losing my time with her . . . I’m going to avoid feeding her a bottle for as long as possible to keep her associating me with bottles.  I am heartbroken that I won’t get that snuggle time that I love in the middle of the night. 

So now I’m determined to pump to keep my supply up.  Except that I have to dump it. I have to dump it all.  *sigh*  I pumped at the hospital.  I dumped 10 oz and cried.  The nursing staff didn’t know what to do with me either.  I did end up renting a hospital pump, which is higher quality and will hopefully keep my production up. 

But I do love that my boys are taking care of my sweet Miss Lily.

And to make me laugh (and maybe you, too) after that depressing post . . .

A Luke Photo-Bomb!

Lily at Two Months

 

I can’t believe how quickly two months have gone by.  Before Lily, I didn’t even know it was possible to enjoy time with a newborn.  She is pretty awesome, if I do say so myself. 

About Little Miss Lily at two months:

• Up to 13 lbs 3 oz (birth weight: 7 lbs 15 oz) – now wearing 3-6 month clothes
• Up to 23 1/4 inches long (birth length: 20 inches)
• Lily’s pediatrician was very impressed with her head control – sometimes I forget she is only two months old.
• Goes to bed around 8 pm every night.
• Either sleeps completely through the night (until about 7 am) or wakes up once between 1:30 am and 3:30 am.
• She rarely cries.  Honestly, she cries when she is tired and doesn’t want to be held.
• Lily sleeps in her own crib at night, in her swing for naps.  We are trying to transition her to sleep in her crib for naps.  We win some, we lose some.
• She still hates pacifiers. She tries so hard to suck her thumb, but its usually trapped under the other four fingers. 
• Lily has her “Owl Baby” that is an owl/lovey blanket.  It has tiny little wings that she will gnaw on to calm down.
• We’re still working on taking a bottle. After four failed bottle brands, Lily will finally suffer through a Dr. Browns bottle. Whatever works.
• Mommy returns to work in 3 weeks.  I never thought I would want to stay home with a newborn (I couldn’t wait to get back to work after I had Luke . . . someone take my child, PLEASE.) but she is such a dream baby.
• Luke loves her.  He holds her regularly, loves to show her his toys, gives her hugs and kisses.  Lily has become quite a resilient baby with Luke as her big brother.
• Lily is such a smiley baby – she loves to be talked to and works very hard to focus on the mouth of whoever is talking.  She is working hard at laughing and we have gotten a few guffaws.

Mostly, I have found that I am completely infatuated with my sweet little girl.  We were able to visit my old campus and see some of the teachers – she was sweet and smiley for them, too! We’ll be going back this week to visit some of my previous students – they survived my pregnancy and crazy hormones, so they should get to see the product!

Baptism Dress

Linda, my wonderful mother-in-law, graciously loaned me her family’s baptism dress for Lily’s use.  We haven’t yet had Lily baptized (soon, soon) but I wanted to at least take a few pictures of her in it. Hopefully, she won’t outgrow it before we actually baptize her. It is truly a gorgeous dress – so much nicer than anything you could find in a store.  I love how much history it has to it.  I hope that if Lily is blessed to have a daughter someday, she too will get to wear it.

And for posterity sake, here are all the wonderful pictures of everyone who took pictures in the special dress.

Linda

 

Aunt Nancy

 

Auntie G

 

And little Miss Lily

And . . . we’re done. (plus a dress close up!)

Glass Pumpkin Time!

Just about every year, I go to the Great Glass Pumpkin Patch in Palo Alto.  It is such a fun event and a wonderful way to support local artists.  It is always a fun adventure.  Last October was a rough month for the Bickels, so I missed last year’s event.  This year I was able to go, leaving Lily in the capable hands of Todd and hoping that I wouldn’t miss a feeding.  Poor Lily is still pretty unwilling to take a bottle, though Todd can get her to usually take an ounce or two. (aka: not nearly enough)  So I didn’t want to be gone too long, but I was thrilled about my freedom.

A few years ago, I went through the entire picking glass pumpkin process in “’Tis the Season to be Fall-y” which you can check out for a catch up if you missed it the first time around. 

This year, I told myself and assured Todd I would only be getting one pumpkin – a pink pumpkin for Lily, as I bought Luke a little blue one when I was pregnant with him. Seriously. Just one pumpkin. Seriously.

So, that was a pretty epic fail.  I bought 3. I did find the pink pumpkin, which turned out to be more of a violet, than a pink.  There was a really pretty pastel pink pumpkin, but it was big and $75. Couldn’t justify.  So I got this one, bigger than I planned, but super cute! I liked the spots. I think I was in a “spotty” place this year.  There was a leopard print-ish pumpkin that I liked, but it was swooped up by my partners in crime. There’s always next year!

Since I was in a spotty place for pumpkins, I found this cute little purple pumpkin with that silvery stem I was looking for.

But my favorite by far is the last pumpkin I found.  I was feeling nostalgic and really wanted a somewhat traditional orange pumpkin.  Then I found it.  The one with the matte stem.  In the previous post, I said I wanted more matte stems.  Ta da! The poachers wanted this pumpkin badly. But it was not to be. It was mine.  Now I know the artist that I like.  I have two of his pumpkins now: similar shape, same style stem. Woo hoo!

This is my current collection.  My friends all have tons more than I do, but I love my little glass pumpkin patch and they are so fun to take out every year! Each family member has their own pumpkin that represents their favorite colors and styles, so I like that they remind me of my family.  They are certainly not a cohesive style or set of colors, but they’re mine and I love them!

I will be looking forward to next year’s Glass Pumpkin Patch festival!

Pumpkin Patch with Cousins

We try to get a trip to the big pumpkin patch with the cousins every year. Some years are better than others.  Last year didn’t happen, we barely made it to the patch in time for Halloween.  Let’s put it this way: by the time we got to the pumpkin patch, all pumpkins were half price. You know how I love a bargain!

This year we made it though.  We did the traditional photos:

Height chart:

Pumpkin King (next year we can add Pumpkin Queen!)

Jumping in, on and around the hay

And the ever popular train:

Luke talked Todd into getting a big ol’ bag of kettle corn. Kettle corn the size of Lily.  Normally, I don’t like kettle corn, but this was actually good!

 

Hanging with Grandma:

\

Time with Papa:

Finally. Lily is 7 weeks old and we have a family picture. Sheesh.

Me and my girl:

And of course, picking out the perfect pumpkin:

To prevent Luke from choosing an enormous pumpkin, the rule is that he has to be able to lift it on his own. That made choosing very difficult.

 

Success!

 

Carting all our pumpkins:

Overall, very successful adventure! This won’t be our last pumpkin patch for the season though, so look for more pumpkin patch pictures coming up!