Paleo-ness

So a few months ago, Todd and I started really thinking about solutions to a few problems we're having in our family.

1) I swear I will never lose this baby weight (and then some).
2) Is there a correlation (causal or otherwise) between Luke's ADHD/ODD and diet?

I started doing some research and found that there is research done on food dyes/preservatives/additives and how it can affect behavior.

Paleo diet was a possible solution.

We have been on Paleo for a few months now and we have seen quite a difference.  Paleo is fairly straightforward - eat like a caveman (paleolithic).  So no bread, legumes, dairy.  It is gluten free, grain free, etc.  Nothing processed, nothing from a box.  All fresh veggies, some fruit, nuts, fresh/wild protein: beef, chicken, lamb, pork, fish, etc.  Organic as much as possible.

Cost wise, we do what we can.  It can't always be organic, it can't always be wild, pole caught, free range, etc.  A lot of cooking. Nothing easy. Lots of dishes. I hate dishes.

I miss pasta and bread. And sandwiches and cereal. 

But I love that I don't eat as much.  I'm simply not as hungry as I used to be.  Apparently that is from refined grains.  I love that I feel better, top to bottom.

I have eaten more vegetables in the last two months than in years.  So it's a good thing.  We've been a little more flex since I had my surgery.  I am the grocery shopper, so I've been out of commission.  We've playing a little fast and loose with our meals, but we'll get back on track by next week.

The results? I've lost about 20 lbs and so has Todd.  Luke has gotten thinner and leaner (which I'm not thrilled with) but his behavior has improved.  He is aware that he is off food dyes, though we are not strict about gluten with him.  He wouldn't eat lunch otherwise - he the PB&J King.  He has gotten pretty good about knowing what he can and cannot have, though he will ask.  It's actually pretty cute.  He'll hold something up and shout, "IS THIS ALLERGIC TO ME??"  He knows that chocolate is an okay food :)

It is definitely a lifestyle change that I'm happy with, but I know I can't be without bread forever.  It will be an "occasional" food, not an all the time restriction.  Todd is a LOT closer to his goal weight.  I feel like I'm an eternity away.  But I know that I'm better than where I was.

Keep it up Bickel family! 

We have seen a huge impact

Luke is doing . . . well.

So things have been going well . . . a few days before Easter, we received this note in Luke's belongings.  We were so thrilled! Bless those teachers . . . they are working magic on him.  Though I'll admit, it makes me feel more trepidation about leaving when he is going into kindergarten this year.  He was so proud of himself.

We would like to get to a point where we are so surprised when he does well.  We would like it to be a norm instead of an exception.  Will we ever get there? Will we have an opportunity to get there? Who knows. We'll live this up :)

Unfortunately, this week hasn't been as successful.  He has been "bothering" his friends (he can be pretty trying) and his friends then don't want to play with him.  And then he cries. That's new.

The teachers have been telling me all week that he has been really "sensitive" lately, crying easily about getting his feelings hurt.  I think that the sleep thing is a problem - he is still waking up a bunch (hearing noises at night) and taking a long time to go back to sleep, if at all.  I think he was so worried about me in surgery ("How did they put you back together, Mommy?" "With glue, sweetie.")  and he just is terribly emotional.

But Luke is still motivated to earn stickers (woo hoo!) and we're giving those away like candy.

I'm so proud of my boy. :)

Minus one appendix.

You know I can't simply go on  with my life if I haven't taken a jaunt over to the ER or had some sort of surgery for a few months at a time.  So I thought I'd have some appendicitis and take that sucker right on out. :)

A few weeks ago, about an hour out of lunch, I started having some indigestion.  I figured I didn't put my lunch (leftovers) in the fridge at work and was paying for it, digestively speaking.  It didn't go away, but I powered through because that's what I do.  It was the second day of a three day, 12 hour work day (a Thursday, 7:30-7:30) and I just couldn't leave.  I didn't eat very much at dinner and the science fair was awful. So many people, so much heat . . . bleh.  My boss told me to go home (made it out 15 minutes early - woo hoo!) and called the advice nurse on my way home.  By that point, the pain had localized to my lower right side and I had a feeling it was my appendix.  The nurse said it could be either my appendix or an ovarian cyst and scheduled an appointment for the next morning, around 10 am.

The next morning I headed into work (ready for the third of the 12 hour work days) and promptly postponed my appointment.  (What?!? I know, I'm crazy.) The pain hadn't lessened, but it hadn't gotten worse and I had a ton of work to do to prepare for Family Night at school that night.  I was the one organizing/running it and there was simply a ton to do.  So I worked, I even subbed for a teacher who went home ill :)  Go figure.

I knew that I wouldn't be coming back to work after my appointment, so I simply had to get as much done as possible. *sigh*

So I went to the doctor (random, not mine) and she had terrible bedside manner.  She mostly thought that I had constipation (seriously) and I was mortified that anyone would think I would go to the doctor for constipation.   But she decided to check me into the ER as a precaution.  They admitted me and mushed around on my belly. Which hurt. A lot.  Even more strange? They would push on my left side and my RIGHT side would hurt. Bizarre.  So I had a CT scan and surprise! Infected appendix.  Time for surgery!

At this point, I was by myself, Todd was with the kids and I like to do the ER thing solo. :)

After I spoke with the surgeon, she said that I should be able to go home in the morning.  I said that I would be good to go back to work on Monday and she laughed at me. Rude. 

The pre-op nurse asked me how old I was, he said I looked 16! Score! I felt pretty old and haggard, especially prior to surgery, but I appreciated the compliment. 

Anyways, my mom came after that and I went into surgery by 9 pm.  I was done by 10:30 pm and left to go home by 11:30 pm. Because I wanted to and that's how it is.

The good news is that it was a simple procedure and I've had no complications.  The path came back fine/normal on my appendix and I'm all better. I had last week off and this week is our spring break, which gives me a good couple weeks of full recovery.

Who knows what I'll head into the ER for in the next few months!

Six Months

So after that terribly dramatic post, it is time for something a little lighter.

Lily is six months old. That's right. Six. Months. Old.

When did that happen?

What is Lily up to now, you ask?

• Eating: sweet potatoes, peas, bananas, avocados and puffs.  She never, ever liked rice cereal.  Bleh. Before solids, she was taking 12 oz as her last nighttime bottle.  She is a tank.  Solids have helped that drop down to 8 oz. 
• Action: sitting like a champ.  Getting ready to crawl. (slow down!) She scoots around the family room backwards and gets into everything.  Lily adores her doorway jumper.  It is difficult getting her in because she starts jumping on the way over.
• Personality: Happy. Happy. Happy.  She is my smiley girl.  When does she get angry? When I come home, say hi and then pass her by.  Do not stick baby in the corner. :)  
• Relationships: Lily loves her big brother and he loves her back.  She is constantly watching him.  Luke knows we get upset when he tries to hoist her up, so he will lay on his back and put her on his tummy.  Then they giggle at each other.  Luke is still working on being gentle, Lily still smiles even when she gets squeezed by her brother.
• Sleeping: We have taken a few steps back.  As Luke's issues with sleeping are a prominent part of our night, we try to prevent Lily from waking him up.  She doesn't cry, but she fusses.  I run in to "plug" her with the binky, but Luke usually wakes up.  Normally, I don't mind if she fusses, but we're working on Luke's sleep right now.  We have started finding her sleeping on her tummy or her side.
• Lovie: Lily has the giraffe equivalent to Luke's Sally (Sleep Sheep) and is enamoured with it.  When we put her to bed, the first thing she does is look for her giraffe.  Then she hugs the heck out of him.  Lily also chews extensively on her Sophie the giraffe. 
• Teeth: Not yet.  I swear she has been teething for like, 3 months.  She chews on everything.  But no, not yet.

It already feels way too fast.  My little girl is just the sweetest thing.  Halfway through the first year? Yikes.  

The Process.

We are currently trying to get our lives in some sort of order.  2012 was a year of wonderful ups and some really difficult downs.  Lily is such a joy to us.  She is my big "up."  I have been given more than one opportunity to see what an amazing, inspiring father and husband that Todd is, and that is a huge "up." I hope I tell him enough how much I appreciate, respect and admire him.  *note to self: do that more.*

Our family and some close friends are aware of the turns that the Bickels have taken in 2012, which is one of the reasons that I attempted to go private. Not sure if it worked or not, but we'll see.

I'll do a quick summary of our life, why I haven't been posting and hopefully help myself find the silver lining.

We spend 2012 with Luke getting into a lot of trouble at school.  Like, a LOT of trouble.  Over the course of the year, it escalated to intense proportions, with Luke having some severe anger and aggression issues.  The likes of which I have never, in a million years, ever thought would happen to my sweet little boy.  Well, I suppose it started earlier, the fall of 2011, but it really picked up in 2012.  We did everything we knew "should" work, even though it didn't.  We moved classes, we moved schools . . . 3 schools in one year, in fact.  A different environment,  a different teacher, different kids . . . we had no idea what to do.  Eventually, I was on the phone with the psychology dept through Kaiser.  Luke was diagnosed with a combination of ADHD and ODD, which is a real pip, I can assure you.  Poor Luke. Poor Mom and Dad.  Things were so stressful at home and at school.  I spent the majority of my maternity leave at psychology appointments, Todd and I went to parenting class after parenting class, reading book after book, trying to help my son who didn't understand what was going on with him.  It was like dealing with a 4 year old version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  We had to change schools, yet again.

The psychiatrist would not medicate Luke due to his young age.  We were so desperate and so angry, we wished for a magic bullet, but were given none.  So we continued to search and hunt for anything that would help.  We were consistent with our discipline and now have strategies that will work for him.  Luke is off food dyes and preservatives/additives, which is making a difference.  We found a new school who provides more outside time.  The difference? Old preschool - 2, 20 minute recesses.  New preschool - 3-4, 45 minute recesses.  They have a gym that they can run around in if it is raining outside.  (Thank goodness)  The teachers are willing to work with us to help find solutions to his anger and resistance. We have found that we can give no leeway.  None.  There is never any relaxing when it comes to discipline or schedule.  We cannot have him play with friends on Sundays.  The whole week will be screwed.  There is a lot of trial and error.  We are exhausted.

We still struggle with his sleep.  We are trying to figure out if he has a sleep disorder.  He wakes up multiple times during the night.  Sometimes he will quietly try to sneak into our room and just stand or sit.  Sometimes he will lay quietly in his bed, completely awake.  He begins most of his days very tired.  This causes issues at school, as his impulse control is lessened when he is tired.  He has a short fuse.

I have spent a lot of time on "Why me?" and lamenting about life not being fair.  I am working on trying to understand the greater meaning of all of this and not being jealous of parents with "neuro-typical" kids.  Maybe I shouldn't be this open about our issues, but I need to get it out.  It is cathartic.  I have been able to help a few students who seem to be struggling with similar issues . . . that is part of my silver lining.  It makes me grateful that Lily is such an easy baby.  God knew I had enough on my plate.  I am blessed to be married to Todd - he is incredible.  And I love my son, with all his challenges, more today than I did yesterday.  And I will love him more tomorrow.

I do not love the judgement from other parents.  That has been a big struggle.  I understand that these parents have no idea what my life is like and what my child is like.  You can tell what they're thinking: "There is no discipline.  They let their child get away with anything.  Why don't they do something about _____________. " Trust me.  I have done it all. And then some.  So I have learned the pain of being judged. I will never EVER judge another parent again.  They don't know what my life is like, and I don't know what their life is like.  Lesson learned.

I pray for guidance and help.  I pray our family will stay strong and work through this.  I am terrified about kindergarten.  I pray to be an advocate for my son, and be diligent in providing the best for him always.  "Why me?" continues to creep in, but I work on having faith that someday I may understand.

So if you have a prayer or two hanging around, I sure could use it.

We are in a better place now, I promise.  It has gotten easier, but it is not easy.  So be patient with us, please. :)

Getting there.

Four reasons I will post photos soon:

1. Life is slowly getting back on track after the nightmare known as Augustthroughdecember has officially come to a close.
2. I have found my hard drive with photos on it.
3. I have my computer working again.
4. Lily sleeps through the night.

Two reasons that posting photos still might take some time:

1. Luke's birthday party is this weekend and apparently I have to clean the house in preparation. Lame.
2. I am sick. I have been sick for the last few days and have powered through it at work, but I need to go to bed.  After having some tea. 

Have you had Throat Coat tea? It is a well-established teacher tea, as teachers talk all freaking day and have laryngitis often.  I highly recommend it, as it keeps me from coughing all night if I drink it right before bed.  No sleeping in for me!

So Luke turns 5 this week. Bizarre.  I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.  Posts to follow. Promise.

Look, Ma!

Before winter break, I subbed for a bit in a first grade classroom.  I have never taught first grade because, well, they are squirrel-y. Even second grade got to the point of being too squirrel-y.  But I digress.

Anyways, one of the little firsties told me that she saw me in a magazine and I thought she had lost her mind. But I smiled and went along with it.

Then she brought this in today. Hey! I'm in a magazine! I can tell I'm pregnant because I'm wearing a maternity dress and no makeup.  I look tired.

But there I am! Woot!

I guess my little firstie was right.  I really shouldn't underestimate kids, I suppose.

Christmas and New Years posts to come. One of these days.