Getting there.

Four reasons I will post photos soon:

1. Life is slowly getting back on track after the nightmare known as Augustthroughdecember has officially come to a close.
2. I have found my hard drive with photos on it.
3. I have my computer working again.
4. Lily sleeps through the night.

Two reasons that posting photos still might take some time:

1. Luke's birthday party is this weekend and apparently I have to clean the house in preparation. Lame.
2. I am sick. I have been sick for the last few days and have powered through it at work, but I need to go to bed.  After having some tea. 

Have you had Throat Coat tea? It is a well-established teacher tea, as teachers talk all freaking day and have laryngitis often.  I highly recommend it, as it keeps me from coughing all night if I drink it right before bed.  No sleeping in for me!

So Luke turns 5 this week. Bizarre.  I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.  Posts to follow. Promise.

Look, Ma!

Before winter break, I subbed for a bit in a first grade classroom.  I have never taught first grade because, well, they are squirrel-y. Even second grade got to the point of being too squirrel-y.  But I digress.

Anyways, one of the little firsties told me that she saw me in a magazine and I thought she had lost her mind. But I smiled and went along with it.

Then she brought this in today. Hey! I'm in a magazine! I can tell I'm pregnant because I'm wearing a maternity dress and no makeup.  I look tired.

But there I am! Woot!

I guess my little firstie was right.  I really shouldn't underestimate kids, I suppose.

Christmas and New Years posts to come. One of these days.

Thanksgiving

I'm so glad my mother in law is awesome and took pictures, because I took no pictures at Thanksgiving. That's right. My daughter's first Thanksgiving and nothing.  I was busy with other things. 

Lily dressed up in a special outfit from Great-Grandma and Great-Grandpa (which was beautiful) and then had a little photo shoot.  She is such a happy baby - lots of smiles and giggles now.  This is my favorite part of having an infant - they give smiles away like they are worth nothing, but to everyone else, they are worth everything!

The long and the short of it:

• Thanksgiving dinner was delicious and amazing.  
• Baby Lily was sweet and adorable. 
• Luke ran around like his pants were on fire (at least we were outside).  
• All the family stepped in to help Luke run out of energy (he went through at least 6 adults before he got remotely tired).
• Todd and I were given a break. Woo hoo!  Nana drove Luke home so that Todd and I would have some quiet, couple time.  I will call that 30 minute drive a date. Sweet!

And now Christmas is right around the corner.  Tomorrow is my last day before break and I couldn't be more excited to have two weeks at home with my family.  While my job certainly has challenges, I can't beat the two week break for the holidays. 

My Secret Santa GETS me.

Note: My Secret Santa knows me so well.

I came in this morning to find a bottle of homemade Cranberry-Lime Infused Vodka.

It is going to be helpful this Winter Break.

By the way, my Secret Santa is my desk-neighbor, Allison, who clearly listens when I talk about what I like!

Happy Friday, everyone!

So let's be totally honest.  Things have been tough lately.  More difficult than I ever EVER imagined that I would be faced with in my life.  I am sad, angry, frustrated, disheartened and often feel lost.  I am so grateful for my family during all of this.  I'm grateful for work, which has become a bit of an escape.  At some point, I'll go into it a little more (a cathartic experiment, I suppose) which is why the blog will soon be going private.  

Until then, I will be thankful for the little things.  Things like Secret Santa at work.  I'll be the first to admit that I didn't really want to be a part of the Secret Santa exchange - a gift for someone, everyday?!? The cost, the effort, the time?!?! But I wanted to be a "team player" and be a part of it.  Granted, I know the names of the teaching staff, but I haven't gotten to know everyone yet.  So I was hesitant and resistant. But I signed up anyways.

Who knew I would love it? I get something cute on my desk every morning.  It really makes me feel a little special and a little bit of joy every morning.  I don't know who my Secret Santa buddy is, but they know me so well! I love my little seasonal water cups and so today was a Christmas cup with a snowglobe inside. Seriously.  And the "alcoholic" Crystal Light packets -  I swear, the margarita Crystal Light got me through being pregnant during the summer.  I love the little decorations and the bow - it is adorable. 

So I had to share it, because some days, this is all I've got that doesn't include stress, worry and anxiety.

On a side note, if you are interested in receiving a Bickel Christmas card this year, click on the link to the right (Christmas card mailing list) and it will take you to a form to fill out with your info.  If you have moved in the last year or didn't get a Christmas card last year, please let me know your info!

 

So it is my first day back at work.  Man, is it ever rough.  I mean, seriously seriously tough.  I know that Miss Lily is fine, but I just really miss her.  I'm so glad she is such a good baby.  I'm not going to go much further with this or I might will start crying.

 

Nana took a few pictures and sent them to me.  I needed them.  She is such a happy baby.  Or maybe she just seems that much more happy because Luke was so unhappy. Poor Mr. Colicky Baby. Oh well. So I love her and her sweet, cheery face.  She sure makes me smile!

 

 

 

And I finally checked my work email after being gone for 12 weeks.  Hooray! I was emailed the picture of Lily and me on Halloween when I came to campus for a visit.  She looks serious.  I think the whole thing was pretty overwhelming.  I like that I don't look enormous.  Thanks nursing poncho! (and the downward angle of the photo - love me some tall photographers!)

 

 

I'm so happy there are only three days this school week, or else I would just have a fit. 

Updates

I’m going to discuss what’s been happening with my surgery/health but I will be putting in Lily’s two month pictures to a)lighten the mood and b) give something for people to look at if they’re not interested in my kidney stone drama.

What a crazy couple of days . . .

So I went in for my surgery, which I completely underestimated. For whatever reason, I totally thought it was going to be a simple little procedure, not a big deal at all.

Wow. Way to do your research, Noella.

To start with, the original 12 mm estimate of my stone was small – it turned out to be 13.1 mm. *sigh* Which meant that they had no choice but to insert a stent.  It’s going to be there for a minimum of 2 weeks.  Because of the size of the original stone, the broken pieces might still be big and painful to pass. Sheesh. Because of the stent and the crazy pain, I’m on antibiotics and heavy duty pain meds for quite some time.  I don’t know exactly when I’m going to be able to nurse Lily again.  I’m still pumping and dumping though. 

Once the surgeon told me about the stent and explained the meds, he left and I immediately started crying.  The poor anesthesiologist . . . he came into a crying girl.  I explained to him and my nurse who made sure to ask the doctor about the meds.  I didn’t change anything, but they were so sweet and thoughtful.

I totally did not realize that I would be put completely under. Yikes.  I was told that during the procedure they give me pain meds, but they don’t really know if it was the right amount as they can’t wake me up to ask.  Well, apparently because I was so upset about breastfeeding, they decided to give me less in hopes that I could return to nursing more quickly. 

So I woke up crying and crying, it was so painful.  Yeah, that was fun.  Anytime I get into that much pain, doctors and nurses have an extremely hard time breaking through the pain – it has happened with every ER visit for kidney stones.  They keep giving me more and more meds, higher and higher doses and stronger types.  They are always shocked at how what should work  . . . doesn’t.

I made it through, I’m anxious to be done with all of this.  I didn’t want to finish maternity leave this way, but it was certainly out of my hands.

I’m very blessed though – the hospital staff was amazing.  I had the sweetest, most kind nurses and efficient, thoughtful doctors.  I cannot thank my family enough.  I feel that I ask so much of them with all this ridiculous medical issues I’ve been going through.  My parents are always there for me whenever I need them.  I couldn’t be more grateful.  And of course, Todd has been so caring and considerate – letting me sleep when I need to, fixing all my meals and taking care of the kids.  Luke is very concerned about my health, but thinks it’s pretty cool that I have a rock inside me.  And sweet Miss Lily, she has adjusted to having to drink formula.  There was no way to make all those ounces stretch.  I’m trying not to get depressed or negative about it.  I have about 15 ounces left of the original 140 that I began with.  But she’s a trooper. 

Lily is such a pretty little girl.  She seems to get overly aware of the camera whenever I try to take her picture, which has made capturing her smiles ridiculously difficult. I’ll get them one of these days!

Oh, and Lily has an eye infection, so she’s got antibiotics, too. Mother/daughter bonding? Already?